Baby jokes

What is a baby bee? A little humbug.

Another jokes:

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot then looks into his pocket. he does this over and over again. finally the bartender asks why he orders a shot and after drinking it he looks into his pocket. the man responded " i have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home."
A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors, etc. Director thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if hell is this good. Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie studio. The Director is confused. "Then what's the difference," he asks. Satan smiles. "Well, in heaven they actually *make* movies."
What do most people do when they see a python ? They re-coil !
Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV.
A man from the city is out plowing his field and gets his tractor stuck in the wet ground. A farmer driving by stops his truck and walks to the fence to call over the city feller. You need a mule to plow such wet ground he says. "Where can I buy one?" he is asked. Well, I just happened to have one for 100 dollars he says. "I'll take him," says the other man as he counts out the money. I can't bring him over today. I don't work on Sunday morrow OK? "Sure." The next day the truck pulls up and the old farmer gets out. He says, "sorry, bad news." I went out after breakfeast and the mule was dead. The city feller says just give me my money back then. "Can't, spent it already!" "Well... unload the mule then." "What ya gonna do with him?" "Raffle him off!" "Naw, ya cant raffle off a dead mule!" "Just watch me us! City fellers know a few tri cks." One month goes by and the city feller and farmer run into each other at the barber shop. "What did ya do with that dead mule?" "Raffled him off, sold 100 tickets at two dollars each and made 98 dollars profit." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Just one guy so I gave him his two dollars back!"

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