Baby jokes

Who is bigger - Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger's baby? Mrs Bigger's baby, because he's a little Bigger.

Another jokes:

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a demagogue. When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook. When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear annihilation. When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan had nothing to do with it. Because if that fool Reagan was right all along... ...what kind of fool am I?
Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won't step on the fish.
What stars go to jail? Shooting stars.
Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the re st of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off. Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying: "Cindy, you have sinned."
Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test? A. Drool.

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