Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. "How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand. "It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"

Another jokes:

• A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out, "What do you think you're doing?" "Just heating up dinner" she replies.
• What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
• Q: What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker? A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.
• At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
• Knock Knock Who's there ? Chef ! Chef who ? Chef Bridges !