Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs allowed in the bar." "Oh please?," begs the customer. You see, you're playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals." "You're trying to tell me that this here dog is a BASEBALL FAN?! Both of you get out of my bar," says the bartender. "No animals allowed, and YOU belong in a mental institution. Dogs don't like baseball!" Just then, the Royals get a hit. The dog goes wild. He jumps up on the bar and hops around in circles on his hind legs. Then he does the same on his front legs! The bartender is astounded. "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Who ever thought a DOG could like baseball?! I'm curious though....if he gets that excited when the Royals get a hit, what does he do when they get a home run?" "I don't know," confesses the owner, "I 've only had him for five years."

Another jokes:

• 'Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you can't tell me why he does that!' 'Oh, yes I can.' the elf said. 'Because tow 'Eds are better than one, of course!'
• Whats the difference between premenstrual tension and BSE? One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.
• Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
• Twenty-four hours in a day... twenty-four beers in a case... coincidence?
• An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine