Dirty jokes

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

Another jokes:

Q: Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache? A: So he could look like his mama.
First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer.'' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not 'see' the printer.
A police officer was amazed to see a hiker walking along the road carrying a sign which read "To Seattle." "What are you doing with that?" asked the police officer. "I'm walking to Seattle," said the hiker, "and I don't want to lose my way."
A coffin was being moved when it fell off a wagon, and started down the hill. One of the morticians started chasing it. As it rolled past the hospital, the mortician yelled to one of the nurse practitioners walking by, "Doc, quick, give me something to stop this coffin."

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