Divorce jokes

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.

Another jokes:

How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet.
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines. "Don't know," the woman said. He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- turn and drove up to them. "This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either."
What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of? A Doberman puncher!
A man who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. "Doctor, you've got to help me!" he wailed. "What seems to be the trouble?" asked the doctor. "I keep having the same dream, night after night. There's this door with a sign on it, and I push and push the door but I can't get it open." "What does the sign say?" asked the Doctor. "Pull," said the patient.
Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No".

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