Doctor and nurse jokes

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?

Another jokes:

A wildlife biologist is working in the woods, miles from the nearest town. He's camped alone with his dog and cat as his companions. Suddenly, an old gentleman carrying a small limp dog, franticly runs into his camp. "Please, please help me! I think something has happened to Willie. Our Winnebago is parked just around the bend and we've seen you camped here. We didn't know what to do. We thought of you because we had seen all this scientific equipment laying around here. Can you help him?" " Sir, I'm not a vet, I'm a wildlife biologist," the young biologist told the worried man. "Can you please just have a look at him, I'll pay you anything you need. I just need to know. If he's still alive, maybe I can rush him into town." "Ok, put him here on the table." The young biologist looks the limp dog over, but its plain that the dog is dead,, no pulse or signs of breathing. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid poor Willie is dead." "No, I can't believe that..... It can't be true...are you sure?" "Yes, I'm quite sure." "I just can't believe that....With all this equipment, isn't there something you can do? I must be absolutely sure." The biologist called his big yellow cat over to the table. The cat walked around the dead dog, occasionally sniffing at the carcass. He then looks up at the biologist and let out a few weak meows. "Well, the cat say he's dead. Does that assure you?" "No, I need more than that...Do you have anything else?" The biologist calls over his big black dog. The dog circles the body a few times, sniffing it every now and then. After a few moments, the dog barks at the biologist. "Well, now the dog says he's dead. That's all I can do for you sir." "OK, well I guess its true. I'll take him back and bury him...How much do I owe you?" "It'll be $650 bucks." The biologist tells the old man. "What??", replied the old man, "How can you charge that much??!!" "Well sir, I could have told you he was dead for only a dollar, but you're the one that insisted on the cat scan and the lab tests!"
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ? Bert the dinner !
Yo Mama so fat, she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake.
What helps keep your teeth together? Toothpaste.

Categories :