Dog jokes

Small girl: I'd buy that dog, but his legs are too short! Clerk: Too short ? Why, all four of them touch the floor.

Another jokes:

A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, "let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline..." but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed "Shoot me! Shoot me!"
Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He's the one with a duck.
How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
Which football team loves ice-cream? Aston Vanilla!
Why are cpws made for dancing? They're all born hoofers!

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