Ethnic jokes

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole. It says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Shamus yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asks Paddy. Shamus lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

Another jokes:

• When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
• Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains Well pull yourself together then
• Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just WAIT until you hear this!" The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!" "A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest. "But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun, "it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!" "What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?" "Well, I hit the CEILING, father." "How much did you win?"
• Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
• Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds. "Would you like to become a Jehovah's Witness?" asked one of the girls. "No, I really couldn't. I didn't see the accident."