Women jokes

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? - The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Another jokes:

What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!
How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing? Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" r The deaf replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where the money is." The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?" The deaf man replies, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate ." The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."
Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions? A: Tear gas.

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