Marriage jokes

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon. The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see." A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?" The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."

Another jokes:

• Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup. Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites !
• The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
• What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on? A bare hare.
• Why did the women cross the road? Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
• What is a parrot's favorite game ? Hide and Speak !