Computer jokes

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink? A slipped disk.

Another jokes:

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a yo-yo. Are you stringing me along!
Why did the python do national service ? He was coiled up !
Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband's opinion. By this time, he had learned just the right things to say. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed. "It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer and slenderizes your hips." Just then, a voice from the dressing room piped up. "If there's a dress here that will do all that- I'll take ten!"
Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what?
I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number.

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