Monster jokes

What makes an ideal present for a monster? Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Another jokes:

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed? Sleep on the sofa.
An auditor was examining the balance sheet of a mining company that had just bought a sheep station in the Pilbara area of Western Australia. The reason for the purchase was partly for the thousands of acres that the station covered and partly for the thousands of sheep that ranged over those thousands of acres. The auditor, being very diligent, noted that the value of the sheep formed a significant asset and, like all good auditors, knew that he would have to verify that asset. He chartered an aircraft and flew up to the station. The manager was at the airstrip to meet him. "Hello," he said. "I'm the auditor. I've come to count the sheep."
Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ? Because they have electric 'eels !
What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed.
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."

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