Music jokes

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?" Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"

Another jokes:

• How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!
• Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!
• What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ? A swine gut !
• A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
• A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot her instead of her lover, he replied, "Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a different man every week?"