Pig jokes

The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host What happened? He turned out to be a big boar.

Another jokes:

Why did the cowboy ride his horse? Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

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