Pig jokes

What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him? "Heavy!"

Another jokes:

Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it.
Knock Knock Who's there ? Chuck ! Chuck who ? Chuck in a sandwich for lunch
"Say, your house is burning." "That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one."
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve? ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

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