School jokes

An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away

Another jokes:

The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Fred," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11." "11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Fred. "What kind of counting is that'?" asked the teacher "Who's counting'?" replied Fred. "I'm calling signals."
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file. He said it said "File not found". I told him to do a dir. I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed. He said, "Well it says autoexec, then there's some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat." I said type this in "type autoexec.bat". Again he got "File not found". I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed. He said, "I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat'.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Chain Smoker Barbie ...with Surgeon General's warning on box
Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?" "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."
"I didn't see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead." "That's not true, vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"

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