Vampire jokes

Did you know that Dracula wants to become a comedian? He's looking for a crypt writer.

Another jokes:

"Can I have some two-handed cheese, please?" a man in a restaurant asked the waiter. "What do you mean, 'two-handed cheese'?' asked the waiter. "You know, the kind you eat with one hand and hold your nose with the other."
Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."
One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked up behind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, "I'm going to kiss you if you can't tell me who I am in three guesses." She quickly answered, "George Washington! Thomas Jefferson! Abraham Lincoln!"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.
What cat purrs more than any other ? Purrsians !

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