Waiter jokes

Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?

Another jokes:

Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?" "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."
How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches.
A small boy is sent to bed by his father... [Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." [Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" [Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
At our local restaurant you can eat dirt cheap - but who wants to eat dirt?

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