Aviation jokes

Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela are in an airplane with 20 kids. The airplane gets a failure and is doomed to crash. The plane has only 20 parachutes. Nelson Mandela, as a great humanitarian says that children should have them. Bill Clinton gets panicky and shouts, "SCREW THE CHILDREN!!" Michael Jackson's face lights up and he shouts, "YES, YES!! But do we have enough time?"

Another jokes:

• Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying "no"? No. Oh, so it's you!
• Q: What did the cook say to the dough? A: I "NEED" you!
• The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel. "They're yours, but what are they for?" the genie asked. "I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse." "But the squirrel?" asked the genie. "I need something to go 'click-click' to start the horse!!!"
• Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!
• A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."