answer me this jokes - Jokes at Nerida
Jokes: answer me this jokes
- Can you repeat the part after "Listen
very
carefully"?
- Consider one of the most perplexing
questions of our time: Where do'
solutions go when a candidate gets
elected?
- Do fish get thirsty?
- Do steam rollers really roll
steam?
- Do vampires get AIDS?
- Do vegetarians eat animal
crackers?
- Do you need a silencer if you are going
to shoot a
mine?
- Does
killing time damage
eternity?
- Don't you just hate the blatant
materialism surrounding Christmas? And aren't you just dying to know what
you
got?
- Have you ever imagined a world with no
hypothetical situations?
- How come it takes so little time for a
child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to
stay
out all night?
- How come wrong numbers are never
busy?
- How does AVON find so many women willing
to take orders
?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow
get to work?
- How long will a floating point operation
float?
- How many weeks
are there in a light
year?
- How much deeper would the ocean be
without
sponges?
- If
you try to fail, and succeed,
which have you done?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days
a year, why are
there locks on the doors?
- If a fly has no wings
would you call
him a walk?
- If a word in a dictionary were
misspelled, how would we
know?
- If all the nations in the world are in
the debt, where did all the
money go?
- If buttered toast always
lands
buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would
happen
if you tied a pice of buttered toast on the back of a cat and
dropped it?
- If CON is the opposite of PRO, is
congress the opposite of progress?
- If FedEx and Ups merged, would they call
it Fed UP?
- If fire fighters fight fire and crime
fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
- If love is blind, why is Lingerie so
popular?
- If necessity is the mother of invention,
why does so much unnecessary
stuff get invented?
- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do
they make TEFLON stick to the
pan?
- If olive oil comes from
olives,
where does baby oil come from?
- If the world is getting smaller, why do
postal rates keep going
up?
- If we are a country committed to free
speech, then why do we have
phone bills?
- If you are driving at the speed of light
and you turn on your
head-lights, what happens?
- If you didn't get caught, did you
really do it?
- If you tell a joke in the forest, but
nobody laughs, was it a
joke?
- Is it ok to use my AM radio after
NOON?
- What color is a chameleon on a
mirror?
- What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?
- What will fall on the lawn first? An
autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?
- Which of the Himalayas is the
shortest?
- Why are
cigarettes sold at gas
stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- Why are there
interstates in
Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices under
plane seats instead of
parachutes?
- Why are they called apartments when they
are all stuck
together?
- Why do we drive on parkways when we park
on driveways?
- Why do you need a driver's licence to
buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?
- Why does an inspiring sight like a
sunrise always have to
take place at such an inconvenient time?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it
rains?
- Why is brassiere singular and panties
plural?
- Why is it that at class reunions you
feel younger than everyone else looks?
- Why is it that when you transport
something by car, it's called
ship-ment but when you transport something
by ship it's called cargo?
- Why is it that when you're driving and
looking
for an address, you turn the radio down?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it
sounds?
- Why, if the best things in
life are
free, the next-best things are so expensive?
- You know how most packages say "Open
here". What is the protocol
if the package says, "Open somewhere
else"?
- You know that little indestructible
black box that is used on
planes - why can't they make the whole plane
out of the same
substance?
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