burger jokes - Jokes at Nerida
Jokes: burger jokes
- Are hamburgers male?
Yes, because they're
boygers, not girlgers!
- Can a hamburger marry a
hot dog?
Only if
they have a very frank relationship!
- Can you name two burgers
who are
royalty?
Sir Loin and Burger King!
- Do
they really serve burgers in
Transylvania?
Very rare-ly.
- Do hamburgers make good vampires?
No, because
they always find themselves in ghoulash situations!
- How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
Both
are Unidentified Frying Objects!
- How can you tell which Burger
Land baseball
pitchers are left-handed?
They're the one's wearing the
left-handed 'meats'!
- How did the
jury find the
hamburger?
Grill-ty as charred!
- How do gossipy hamburgers spend their
time?
They chew the fat.
- How do the Rolling Stones like their
burgers?
Plain - Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard!
- How do they prevent crime in hamburger
country?
With burger alarms!
- How do we know burgers love young
people?
They're pro-teen!
- How do we know hamburgers have high
IQ's?
They 'loin' fast!
- How do we know that hamburgers love classic
music?
They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and
Cownegie
Hall!
- How do you
make a hamburger
smile?
Pickle it gently!
- How do you insult a hamburger patty?
Call it
a meatball!
- How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it
with blue cheese!
- How do you make a hamburger green?
Find a
yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
- How does a burger acquire good taste?
With a
little seasoning!
- How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land
baseball?
He throws four meatballs!
- How far do burgers go in school?
Through
cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).
- How was the
hamburger murdered?
First it
was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions
- In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.
- Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your
fingers?
No, you should eat your fingers separately!
- Is there a way to make a hamburger do the
Hula?
Sure, order a burger and a shake!
- Name two tennis stars who
are famous in the
hamburger world?
Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!
- Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
- What are some outstanding hamburger
colleges?
Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer
Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
- What can you say about Ham Burger and
Chief
Justice Warren Burger?
Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice
Warren Burger has 'done
well'!
- What did the hamburger say when it found out
that most people
liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?
'Hot
dog!'
- What did the hamburger say when it pleaded
'not
guilty'?
I've been flamed!
- What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who
acted on a TV show?
Welcome back, Cutter!
- What did they call it when NHL officials
refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?
Rink
injustice!
- What did they do to the burger who thought he
was a
rooster?
Cook-a-doodle-do!
- What did they say about the burger who went
skiing
for the first time?
How the meaty have fallen!
- What did they tell the burger who enlisted in
the Army?
You've got no beef, soldier!
- What do burgers think when they are
surrounded by gherkins?
They think they are in a pickle.
- What do hamburger workers say on
Monday
morning?
Well, it's back to the old grind!
- What do some burger eaters have?
A Hardee
appetite!
- What do some people have against
cheeseburgers?
They say, 'Burgers can't be cheesy!'
- What do they call a meeting among the most
brilliant people in Burger Land?
A MEATing of the minds!
- What do they say about the noise at the
Burger Land Super Bowl?
It's PAN-demonium!
- What do you use to determine if a refrigerated
burger is cold enough?
A thermomeater!
- What famous movie did the hamburger meat think
of
when they took it out of the freezer?
They Fry Who Cam in
from the Cold!
- What great song is associated with
hamburgers and baseball?
'Steak Me Out to the Ballgame'!
- What happens when two burgers fall in
love?
They live together in holy meatrimony!
- What is a hamburger's
favourite
story?
Hansel and Gristle!
- What is the hamburgers' most familiar
song?
'Home on the Range'!
- What is the hamburgers' motto?
If at first
you don't succeed, fry, fry again!
- What kind of a pitch
did Sandy Koufax of
the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?
A fastball - a sizzler.
- What kind of baseball do burgers
play?
Ketchup baseball!
- What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger
joint?
Fry-by-night!
- What kind of girl does a hamburger like?
Any
girl named Patty!
- What old-time song is the burgers'
favourite?
'Hammy' - as sung by Al Jolson!
- What song do burgers sing on the
job?
Gristle While You Work!
- What system do they teach in Hamburger High's
math courses?
The meatric system, silly!
- When can you count on a hamburger in an
emergency?
When the chips are down!
- When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!
- When do hamburgers most enjoy
watching
TV?
During PRIME time!
- When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile
button?
When somebody says, 'Well done'!
- When the crooked hamburger took it on the
'lamb', where did it go?
Oh, 'ewe' know!
- Where can a burger get a great night's
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
- Where do the burgers go on New Year's
Eve?
To a meat ball!
- Where does a burger feel at home?
On the
range!
- Where does a burger go on vacation?
The
Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
- Which
burgers are
dishonest?
Cat-burgers! (burglars)
- Which baseball team is currently the favourite
with hamburger fans?
The Cincinnati Reds -because they're the
Big Bread Machine!
- Which burger is famous for a long
nose?
Cyrano de Burgerac!
- Which burgers can tell your fortune?
Medium
burgers!
- Which burgers love to act?
Ham-burgers!
- Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in
baseball?
A double!
- Which is the meat patties' least favourite day
of the
week?
Fry-day!
- Which meatballs get a little tipsy on
occasion?
The POTTED ones!
- Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?
Those that
are born under the sign of the Ham!
- Which people do the
burgers hate?
The
ones who are always putting the bite on them!
- Which political discussions between the
Russians
and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?
The SALT
talks!
- Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger
cold?
BITING humour!
- Who are the hamburgers favourite
people?
Vegetarians!
- Who can beat any burger at golf?
Any LINKS
sausage!
- Who do hamburgers love on TV?
Archie
Bunker's son-in-law, the meathead!
- Who is the hamburgers' favourite
actress?
Candice Berger!
- Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie
director?
Sizzle B. DeMille!
- Who wins most of the medals for bravery in
Burger
Land?
The meatball heros!
- Why are hamburgers essential to
football?
Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!
- Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!
- Why can any hamburger run the mile in under
four
minutes?
Because it's a FAST food!
- Why did the pro football player from the
last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?
He wanted to
know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
- Why do
burgers laugh when you surround them
with pickles?
Who knows - maybe they're picklish!
- Why do burgers run the gauntlet?
To test
their meattle!
- Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on
stage?
They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their
prime!
- Why do hamburgers feel sad at
barbecues?
They get to meet their old flames!
- Why do hamburgers make good
baseball
players?
They're great at the plate!
- Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
They
won't talk no matter how you grill them!
- Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
- Why is President Carter important to
Hamburger Land in April?
One the opening day of the baseball season, he
throws out the first
meatball!
- Why was the burger thrown out of the
Army?
He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)
- Why were the burgers in the
refrigerator
embarrassed?
They saw the salad dressing!
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