king kong jokes - Jokes at Nerida
Jokes: king kong jokes
- After being away on business, Tim thought it
would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
"How about
some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a
bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she
returned with a smaller bottle
for $30.00.
"That's still quite a
bit," Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a
tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see
something really
cheap."
The clerk handed him a mirror.
- How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's
twisted it?
With a monkey wrench.
- How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside
down and make a noise like a banana.
- If King Kong came to England why would he
live in the Tower of London?
Because he's a beef-eater.
- If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play
ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin?
A lid.
- If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping
pong and died. What would they put on his coffin ?
A lid !
- If you crossed King Kong and a bell, what
would you have?
A ding-dong King Kong.
- What business is King Kong in?
Monkey
business.
- What did King Kong say when he saw the
Statue of
Liberty?
"Are you my mother?"
- What did the big ape say when he dialed
incorrectly?
"Oops! King Kong ring wrong."
- What do you do if King Kong sits in
front
of you at the cinema?
Miss most of the film!
- What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the
kitchen?
Just don't monkey with him.
- What do you get if
you cross King Kong
with a budgie?
A messy cage.
- What do you get if King Kong falls down a
mine shaft?
A flat miner.
- What do you get if King Kong sits on
your best friend?
A flat mate.
- What do you get if King Kong sits on your
piano?
A flat note.
- What do you get if you cross King Kong with
a giant frog?
A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building
and catches
aeroplanes with its tongue.
- What do you get if you cross King Kong with
a
watchdog?
A terrified postman.
- What happened when King Kong swallowed Big
Ben?
He found time-consuming.
- What is
big, hairy and can fly faster
than sound?
King Koncord.
- What is as big as King Kong but doesn't
weigh anything?
King Kong's shadow.
- What is big hairy and can fly ?
King
Kongcorde !
- What should you do if you are on a picnic
with
King Kong?
Give him the biggest bananas.
- What would you get if you crossed King Kong
with a
skunk?
I don't know but it could always get a seat on a
bus!
- What's big and hairy and climbs up the
Empire State Building in a dress?
Queen Kong.
- What's brown and furry on the inside and
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm
- Where does
King Kong sleep?
Anywhere
he wants to.
- Who is the smelliest, hairiest monarch in
the world?
King Pong.
- Why did King Kong join the army?
To learn
about gorilla warfare.
- Why did King Kong paint the bottoms of
his feet brown?
So that he could hide upside down in a jar of peanut
butter.
- Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?
He didn't like Chinese food.
- Why is King Kong big and hairy?
So you
can tell him apart from a gooseberry.
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